The Enemy

We all tend to have a somewhat separatist viewpoint. We acknowledge that we are all different and use it as a basis to view ourselves as separate from one another. I'm different than you are different than her who's different than that guy who likes putting things in his dickhole is different than that girl who sits on cakes and so on. Undeniably we are different, and honestly that's beautiful and awesome and fuck yes! I don't however believe we are all as separate as we believe. I think we all have some very basic, fundamental similarities that unite us all. Acknowledging and celebrating our differences is wonderful! Viewing ourselves as separate however can cause many problems, especially when we start to feel so far removed from our fellow human beings that we begin to make enemies out of each other.

Growing up in punk rock I certainly adopted an "us versus them" mentality. Fuck cops, fuck school, parents suck, the president is a dickhead, jocks and cowboys are fuckers, hippies smell like shit and so on. What I couldn't see until many years later is that the people themselves weren't the enemy, the true enemy was something that united us all: human suffering. Among the basic human characteristics that connect us all we find the desire to be happy, and the desire to be free from suffering. These two desires are so deeply rooted in every single one of us that we can never truly be separate from one another. We are all connected by these truths. 

When I began to understand this connected nature I saw that hippies smelling like shit was nothing personal and when I stopped taking it that way I stopped hating hippies. The sense of separation from hippies disappeared. Sure, I am not a hippie (though some might argue Buddhist ideals are kind of hippie, and to those people I kindly say fuck yourself in the heart haha), in fact there are many, many differences between myself and a hippie. However, those differences aren't an attack at me, and if I don't take them personally I make room for the natural connection all humans share. 

When we understand that all humans are trying their best to be happy, it's hard to take anything they do as a personal attack. Cops aren't fuckers because they hate me specifically, they are fuckers for one of two reasons:  First off they are trying their best to be happy and don't know how to go about it. Secondly they are clouded and confused so they don't understand the suffering they're causing. Even people who seem aware of the suffering they are causing are only doing it because they are deeply confused and hurting. 

A jock who beats up on punk kids isn't a bad person, they are confused and hurting and they act out because of it. At the end of the day that guy loves his parents, maybe likes dogs, sports make him happy etc. He's just like the rest of us, he just wants to be happy and free from suffering. The only reason he beats people up is because there is a deep confusion causing him to feel separate from the punk kid. But if we could all understand that our differences don't make us separate we could see the level of tolerance and acceptance go through the roof. Our differences aren't the enemy, our enemies aren't even the enemy. The true enemy is the suffering that we all share in this lifetime. If we can be more compassionate toward each other and accepting of our differences we can attack suffering directly without causing more of it!

Remember friends, even though we are very different, I'm not separate from you aren't separate from her who's not separate from that guy who likes putting things in his dickhole who isn't separate from that girl who sits on cakes and so on. You are not my enemy, I am not your enemy, we are not each other's enemies. Today and every day may we all celebrate our differences and destroy the illusion of separateness. May we all be connected as human beings on a quest to be happy and end suffering. 

xoxo

Miggy

We're All Fuck-Ups. But We're All Also Basically Good.

Life is pretty amazing. The impact we can have on the world around us is pretty amazing too. Every single one of us has the power to create amazing positive changes, but we can also cause a devastating amount of harm. Buddhism puts a lot of emphasis on doing no harm. I spend a lot of time contemplating this and trying to live life in a way that minimizes the damage I do while trying to maximize the positive impact I can have on people. I suck at it. I know I've caused a lot of harm in my lifetime and I have suffered deeply for it. I think when we all take an honest look at ourselves, we know we have been wrong on many, many occasions. The good news is that recognizing our wrongdoings is the first step in creating positive changes within ourselves!

The Buddha taught that we need to find out for ourselves what causes suffering, and what eases suffering and creates happiness. There's no rule book, because there are no universal answers that will work for everyone all of the time, so we must do our own investigation. Meditation allows us to quiet our minds and look within to try and understand what our hearts really desire. Even just 15-20 minutes each morning can help all of us enter our days with calm minds and open hearts, which will allow us to act more skillfully. It's an ongoing effort, our work is never complete, but the better contact we have with our hearts the more we can reduce our negative impact on the world and increase the positive.

It should be noted that even though we've all fucked up, and we will all fuck up again and again throughout our lifetime it does not mean we are bad. In fact we are all basically good. All beings just want to live this life and be happy, so on a deep level we are all the same. It's important to keep that in mind and show compassion to others when they fuck up, but most importantly to be gentle with ourselves when we do fuck up. Often times we may find that we have the hardest time forgiving ourselves for our past mistakes, but it does no good to dwell. We must reflect, learn and move forward, keeping in mind that we are only human, and fucking up is part of our nature.

It's easy for us to play the victim, to feed into a self-made drama where we are constantly suffering either by outside or self inflicted sources. However we must always remember this is a choice, and we can similarly choose to drop the drama, leave the story-line behind and just live here and now. It's easier said than done, but meditation helps. Remember, our potential is pretty fucking amazing, a bit of compassion can go a long way. Today and everyday, may we all remember to be compassionate with ourselves and with others. May we accept our fuck-ups, learn our lessons and move forward. With calm minds and open hearts may we all reduce suffering in the world and change things for the better. Remember my friends, we are all human and that's a pretty fucking amazing thing to be.

May you all be happy and free from suffering.

xox,
Mig

Things Are Perfect Just As They Are, Even When Things Are Shitty

I would like to preface this by saying if you are religious, that's fine by me. I consider myself an agnostic Buddhist and I don't tend to agree with a lot of traditional, organized religions. I do however believe we all need to investigate and find out what works for ourselves, so if for you that means religion then by all means live your life accordingly. No judgements from me.

At first glance this title might seem like I'm suggesting belief in some sort of supernatural order in life, as if some force greater than ourselves is dictating our lives and therefore everything is just as it should be, but that's not it at all! One of the greatest draws of Buddhism to me is that it is a philosophy of investigation and action. We are taught to learn for ourselves, to take nothing for granted and to find meaningful, logical answers. This goes hand in hand with scientific theory and logic, no Gods or religious shit necessary. I believe from a logical, scientific viewpoint things have happened exactly as they needed to for us to be where we are now. There is no greater opportunity than the present moment and without the circumstances leading up to the present moment this opportunity could not exist. Furthermore, there is no other way that things could have happened! We can sit around and dwell and wish things had occurred differently but that won't change shit! So why torture ourselves wishing for the impossible? That would line up better with traditional religions and prayer than Buddhism or even science.

When things are going well it may be easier to entertain the idea that everything is as it should be, but life isn't always pleasant. Still I believe even in the worst times, everything is as it should be. Without the bad parts, we would never be motivated to improve nor would we appreciate the good parts of life. In that sense tragedy is just as important in our lives as happiness. Even great tragedies serve a purpose. I certainly would not be the person I am today had I not lost my mother and sister when I did, and every loss since then has only further fueled my search for meaning. This might sound cold, but my mother and sister, my grandparents, aunt, friends, everyone in my life I've loved who has passed, had to die. Eventually all of us have to die, we never know when or how but we can't escape this truth. With that in mind, surely it is a waste of our present moment to wish they hadn't died. I can morn, and I do often, but more importantly I try to carry them with me and use that to fuel my life. I believe there is a huge distinction between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling impedes our ability to be present, to be alive. Remembering however, when done with the right intentions can be very liberating and motivating.

The fact is none of us know what happens when we die. This brings up two very important points of contemplation: if our loved ones can somehow watch us, would they want us dwelling on their deaths? I don't believe so. Secondly, given that we know nothing about the afterlife, and this might be all we get, shouldn't we strive to fully live instead of dwelling on the uncontrollable? Absofuckinglutely. So get out there and fucking live. Remember tragedy, but don't dwell. Keep in mind everything that has ever happened has created an amazing opportunity in the present moment and take that moment for everything it's worth. Live your fucking life and do good as often as possible!

Xoxo Dildos,
Mig

Karma...and some other shit

I went to Catholic school through 4th grade. I also went to Church regularly until my mother began to move away from organized religion and more towards open spirituality. To me organized religion was all bullshit. I couldn't accept (and still can't) many of the inherent contradictions in that world, but over time I've grown to be more accepting of people and whatever they want to believe. The religious aspect remains pretty unappealing for me personally, but the spiritual side of life has become something I embrace very strongly. A lot of what attracted me to Buddhism was the idea of investigating my own spirituality without having any rules or beliefs forced upon me. The basic premise is you sit on a cushion and find out for yourself what works and what doesn't. So really, anybody could benefit from the practice. There are Christian Buddhists, Atheist Buddhists, celibate Buddhists, Buddhists who put things in their butts and everything in between. Personally I'd say I identify as an Agnostic Buddhist (who sometimes puts things in his butt) because honestly I don't know what is really out there, nor am I sure it's very important to how we live our lives in the present moment.

One thing I have come to believe is that we all share a basic goodness that unites all human beings. Over time most of us lose touch with our basic goodness for periods of our lives, some people lose touch with it forever and end up doing some really horrible things.. BUT we all start the same.  Again, I don't expect anyone to believe in basic goodness just because I say so, or the Buddha said so or God or whatever the fuck else. I think it's our duty to investigate this stuff and find out for ourselves. That said, I have looked for myself, and I do very much believe in basic goodness. This is the part of us that lets us feel happy, sad, connect to other people and know the difference between right and wrong. I also believe it to be the source of balance when it comes to karma and karmic debt.

Now a lot of people understand karma to be you do something good, good things will happen, you do bad things and bad things will happen to you. This is kind of the idea, but not entirely. The word Karma actually translates to action, and so karma isn't so much the action/reaction we tend to think of, but our actions themselves. Many believe karma works because a mystical force of some sort is keeping everything in checks and balances, so it knows when you deserve to be punished and when you deserve rewards...but that's not it either. Again, you can believe or not believe anything you want and still benefit from Buddhism, or at the very least meditation. Personally, I don't think there's any fucking guy in a cloud or mystic fucking fog that keeps track of us and the things we do. I do however believe in karma and karmic debt.

My understanding of it is that our basic goodness allows us to know the difference between right and wrong. We can lie to ourselves and try to justify shitty behavior, but deep down we know when we've done wrong. This will cause us suffering because it goes against our basic goodness. The biggest joy we can experience as people is doing the right thing. Of course the right thing to do will vary from one situation to the next, there are no firm answers, but the important thing is for us to do our best in each moment. If we've honestly done our best then we have created good karma and worked to level our karmic debt. In the end I don't believe there's anything or anyone who will punish or reward us for our actions. I do however believe that we can all be happier if we work to do the right thing. So if you can't help others and do the right thing for the sake of..well..helping others and doing the right thing...then do it because it can balance your karmic debt and make you a happier person. Whatever reasons you find to try and do good in this life, be it some old dude in robes on a cloud threatening to burn your dick off in hell unless you do... or maybe a simple part of your being that wants to be good, get out there and fucking do it.

xo Dildos

Alright let's do this.

I've been tossing around the idea of starting one of these things forever and for whatever reason now seems like the time to finally get off my ass and do it. This blog will be primarily focused on three subjects, Buddhism/mindfulness, Punk Rock and Kink/BDSM. If you know me in real life you're probably aware that these are my three favorite subjects and I spend a lot of time contemplating the ways the three connect. Anyway, I'll post when I can/want to. Check back often. For now I will start with a really short, basic post about mindfulness. Enjoy. Or don't. Please do.

A bit of conscious effort to bring mindfulness into every thing we do goes a long way. I would argue that perhaps the most beneficial part of a daily sitting practice is it helps us to get in tune with reality, with the here and now. Once we begin to develop this mindfulness on the cushion it is our responsibility to bring it into the rest of our lives. We start small, by trying our best to be mindful during simple things, like walking or breathing. This practice helps us retrain ourselves to avoid distractions and be present with life. The small things turn into big things and eventually we find that little bit of conscious effort has become effortless, that mindfulness begins to become our natural tendency moreso than avoidance or clinging. It becomes easier to be mindful during all parts of our day, from eating to working, to fucking to taking a shit. We begin to see and appreciate each moment for what it really is. I'm certainly no expert at it myself, but I do know that little bits of effort have provided very real life changes so far and I am excited to see how much growth is possible as my practice continues the rest of my life. Have doubts about mindfulness and meditation? Good. You absolutely should question everything and everyone and find the true answers for yourself. If you'd like to maybe check out the types of things that have worked for me and many others then that's great, but don't take my or anyone else's word for it.

Namaste Dickheads, welcome to my blog